Faster Than a Speeding Federal Agent

That’s right folks, someone on 24 finally moves even faster than Jack Bauer, and it’s Amnesty International! Or at least a lawyer representing a reasonable facsimile thereof.

When CTU agents capture a man connected with the terrorists, the bad guy calls Amnesty International. It takes him no less than ten minutes to suit up, wake up a judge, get a court order signed, get himself a US Marshal, and show up at CTU just in time to prevent them from torturing the bad guy.

In fact, he even makes it to CTU before Jack does! Maybe Jack finally had to stop and take a dump.

And let’s not forget how incredibly organized these terrorists are. Much better than any given branch of the United States government in 24 world, that’s for sure. Not only do they manage to steal a super-secret device that can make any nuclear power plant melt down, they get a guy onto an airbase to steal a stealth fighter, shoot down Air Force One in such a way that the football (the briefcase with all the nuclear launch codes) survives and can be tracked, and then steal enough of the football’s contents to locate a nuclear warhead that happens to be in transit halfway across the nation in Illinois.

See, in 24 world, we don’t keep nukes in silos. No sir. We keep them in the backs of Army trucks. Army trucks that can apparently be overtaken by a group of rednecks in pickup trucks from the look of things. Said rednecks, of course, being a crack team of rednecks able to leap into action in a moment’s notice to pounce on Army convoys ferrying nuclear weapons around the nation.

As if that weren’t enough, we get to see Jack go rogue yet again, the bad guy is apparently going to be hanging out in a night club for the next hour or so, and next week’s previews suggest now it’s going to be CTU vs. Inept Vice President Now President Via the Lame Duck Amendment. By the way, the current administration just happened to keep on the National Security Advisor from the previous administration, and he’s going to be calling the Only Man Who Can Advise Inept Vice President, none other than Mr. David Palmer.

Brian called the latter. I thought no way. The show is stupid, but it’s not that stupid.

I was wrong.

Yet I can’t look away…