Unfriendly Skies

Terminal Failure

Originally uploaded by MikeOliveri.

Went through the airport today. The first leg of the trip started in a small, regional airport. So, while I did have to put my jacket and shoes in a try and then wait while they took my laptop out of my bag and ran it and my bag through a second time, there were only three of us in line.

I’m not looking forward to the return trip, which will start in Baltimore. As I left for the baggage claim, the security line was huge and they were taking shoe trays to separate counters to chemically test them.

Aside from the security stupidity, the airline (Delta) was fine. As for other passengers…

1) We live in three-dimensional space. If your carry-on will not fit one of three ways into the overhead compartment, you’re just not getting it in there. Sit your fat ass down so the twenty people in line behind you can get to their seats.

2) They have to connect the walkway to the door and take care of a few things before they open the door. Running for the door and getting in everyone’s way the second the plane stops is not going to make them open the door any faster, it’s just going to make you an asshole.

3) If you have to put on a jacket or other article of clothing, do it in your seat. The rest of us have better things to do than be your captive audience for runway modeling. Things like catching connecting flights.

4) It’s not a good idea to zig-zag through the crowd with a three-foot piece of luggage trailing behind you. And you’re damn right you should be apologizing to the person who nearly broke a toe on it in mid-stride, or it could very well earn you a beatdown.

5) You’re a power walker. You’re chugging along through the concourses. You hit the moving sidewalk and use it to propel you even faster. You’ve got places to be. Why is it you get on an escalator and suddenly stop cold? And why do you feel the need to put your obviously-too-big-for-carry-on luggage right next to you to keep anyone from getting past you?

6) If someone says “excuse me” at the baggage claim, that means they probably see their bag and would like to grab it. Thank you to the one lady who did get out of the way. The rest of you? I hope your bag’s sitting on the tarmac and got run over by the truck, you bastards.

I try to be aware of people around me. I can’t say I’ve made it 100% of the time, but I do make an attempt.

Maybe it’s time to start slapping people upside the head and making them aware.