Is There a Breeze In Here? Oh, Right… I'm Bald

Now that I’ve tried to split my head open, I figured I couldn’t really do any more harm to myself and just shaved the ol’ nugget. I procrastinated about it until Sunday, when I finally borrowed Brian’s hair clippers and sheared my skull like a sheep. By leaving the guard off, I was able to get right down to the scalp.

Little bits of hair were already sprouting up around the perimeter of the wound by that point, so I chose not to shave it clean with a razor. Like most of you said in comments, it does look better than a faux receding hairline. However, it does look (and feel!) very odd.

I can also see where the scar is going to be, as well as the consequent cowlick. I half wonder if it will be bad enough that I’ll have to grow my hair back out. I’ve thought about doing that for a while now, but the convenience of just running the clippers across my skull and not having to futz with making appointments and paying for a barber or stylist is hard to give up. It’s also nice not having to spend time in the morning getting it right, or worrying whether or not it’ll go nuts when I wake up in the morning. With the buzz it’s just get it wet, dry it off, and go. Drying after a shower is measured in seconds, not minutes (or hours, as thick as my hair used get).

I’ve been drawing a lot of funny looks at work. Most of the students don’t see me much so don’t ask, but amongst the teachers the two most common questions are:

  1. “Did you have to get stitches?”
  2. “Was there alcohol involved?”

I would imagine the first question would be obvious, as stitches don’t disappear in three days. A zipper running up the front of my head would be hard to miss, no?

As for the second question, I can’t really fault them on that one. It tends to come from those teachers who know I’m a writer and have heard some of my convention tales, so it’s my own fault.

Meanwhile, at karate, the sarcasm came out. My favorite was “There’s Mike, looking like an escaped con with a weird scar tattoo on his forehead!” Heh. But it doesn’t compete with what we came up with over the weekend. I hesitate to elaborate here, knowing some of the folks who will be reading this, so instead I will drop the reference the horror crowd will understand:

“Grandpappy, what’s a header?”

‘Nuff said.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

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  1. Cullen Bunn says:

    Welcome to the fold, brother. :)