Meet Promachoteuthis sulcus, what would be the most terrifying creature on the planet if it weren’t only 25mm wide or long or whatever ML means. And tiny or not, I wouldn’t want great swarms of them to surround me and nibble me to death.
If you click the picture, it says the teeth are actually folded lips which conceal its beaks. I don’t find that much more comforting. I’m convinced it pulls in the beak and builds these rudimentary teeth to speak.
“Hello. I am the Great Cock of Cthulhu. I am going to swallow your soul.”
(C’mon, look at the shape of it. You didn’t think it would squeeze by without a phallic joke, did you?)