I Still Wouldn't Drive One

It would appear the Geo Metro is making a comeback due to the spike in gas prices, and people are paying as much as five times the Blue Book value for them.

As a cheap-ass second car, I might consider one, but no way would I pay that kind of money. I test-drove a Metro back in ’93 when they were new, and was less than impressed. My dad and I cruised the four blocks from the car dealership to our insurance agent while test-driving it, and while we did get good news on insurance, we almost got killed leaving his lot.

This is a rural town, mind, and what we’d call “heavy traffic” is still a fraction of what you’d see in the suburbs, much less the city. There was a steady flow, though, and I watched for a gap. Finally one came, one that wouldn’t have been a big deal with a 4 banger or better, assuming you gave it some gas. I knew the Metro only had three cylinders, so I put the hammer down.

There was just no go. The little hamster wheel spun up as fast as it could go, and we nearly got rear-ended. There was much honking and single-finger saluting behind us, and my dad and I were both doing that involuntary lean/scoot thing where you’re trying to get the car to go just a little bit faster. I would have been better off Flintstoning it.

With what people are paying for the old ones, I’m surprised Chevy hasn’t tried to bring back an updated version of the Metro. I bet a cheaper hybrid with a three-cylinder engine would fly off the lots as long as the gas prices are as high as they are.

I still wouldn’t drive one, though. I can live without a ‘Vette or a Viper, but if I’m going to drive something, it at least needs to move when I hit the pedal.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

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