Accidental Thoughtcrime

Rachael Ray is a terrorist.

At least that’s what some right-wing nutbags would have us believe. The lovely Ms. Ray wore a scarf in an online commercial for Dunkin’ Donuts, and Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin decided it looked a little too much like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by men in the Middle East, and thus Ray obviously supports terrorism.

Must have been a slow news day. What’s next, we declare anyone wearing a keffiyeh on a US street a terrorist and stone them to death on the spot? Sometimes a scarf is just a scarf, people. Radio douchebag Jay Severin is another one to condemn the commercial, and he asks “How would a cowboy hat go over in a Muslim country?”

Hmm. Maybe they would just think it’s some guy in a stupid hat. People wear cowboy hats around here all the time. I don’t assume they punch cows for a living and spend their free time thinking about lynching Muslims, I just figure they have poor taste in music.

I’m not letting Dunkin’ Donuts off the hook, either. If companies continue to kowtow to sensationalist crybabies like this, the problem is only going to get worse. If the double D were to go online and say “Hey, assholes, it’s just a scarf!” I’d be a customer for life. Instead they tuck tail and run. Pansies.

I checked Rachael Ray’s website to see if she addressed it. So far nothing. I can’t decide if that’s good or bad. On the plus side, she could probably hold up the scarf in question and make these people look like idiots. On the down side, addressing it acknowledges their complaint.

So goodonya, Fox News. Just keep fanning those flames of hate. Nothing demonstrates the glory of Free Speech to the rest of the world like using it to tear down a company for the way their paid representatives choose to dress.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

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  1. Someone else mentioned that he’s pretty sure keffiyeh don’t come in paisley, either. :)