I Want to Be a Scientist

A mad scientist, of course, but these days it may not be far off.

The tardigrades that NASA fired into space have now returned, having survived exposure to both the extremes of the stellar vacuum and exposure to cosmic rays. I think that would be a fun job, blasting random critters into space. I can think of several candidates right off the top of my head, unintended consequences be damned.

Does this tardigrade look different to you?

Does this tardigrade look different to you?

I’d also like to be the guy who gets to push the button on the Large Hadron Collider. They’ve already beamed a few test protons through it, and tomorrow they’re set for the big experiment. Of course, there are several people who think that the experiment will be the end of the world.

Pfft. I say fire it up. These are the same kind of people who thought the Manhattan Project would ignite the atmosphere and kill us all. Or that every electronic device on the planet would shut down on Y2K. They just don’t understand the science behind what they’re talking about.

To that, I say educate yourself:

Now, let’s talk about testing my Large Hardon Collider…

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

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  1. Noah L says:

    Holy crap, that is the funniest/geekiest rap I have ever seen or heard. Oh, and I agree that gravity is week–judo has taught me so :P. Speaking of judo, Mike, when I come back to Illinois for a visit, you need to swing by judo class, because I am going to have some interesting stuff to teach, thanks to a local judo dojo here in Mesa, AZ. Anyway, enough of that–fire that LHC up and lets have some fireworks! I don’t think most of the world would complain if that part of Europe got blown away, anyway :P

  2. Mike says:

    Let me know when you’re back and I will try to make it! I should probably start getting my ass to judo class period.

  3. NoahL says:

    Haha, yeah, judo will kick your ass as soon as it’s there, trust me, but it’s worth it. I have to say, though, that the warm-ups at this place wore me out so much that I barely had the strength left to throw anybody, and I proceeded to throw a guy who’s about 200 lbs at least 30 times. Go figure :P. At any rate, I feel like jello this morning, and I plan on introducing that feeling to everybody once I get back :P

  4. josh says:

    isn’t that the machine from the
    ‘Rising”?

  5. Mike says:

    Sure is. Be ready to greet your new zombie overlords. ;)