Sometimes Too Creative

Troll Wang
Originally uploaded by MikeOliveri.

I came home from lunch to find the Squirt had been given a Thanksgiving-themed Troll doll at library day today. Two seconds later, I picked it up and went rummaging through the kitchen cabinets.

“What’re you doing?” the Wife asked. She had that exasperated tone that suggested she was also rolling her eyes at me.

“Nothing,” I promised.

She knew better. She’s only been through 15 years of these shenanigans. When I found what I needed and sat down beside her at the table, she put down her book and crossed her arms.

“What?” I asked.

“Get it over with.”

“I’m just sitting here! Why do you always have to assume I’m up to something? All I want to do is spend a few minutes with my lovely bride before I have to go back to work, and here you are making me the bad guy. Frankly, I’m offended that you could think that of me.”

Yeah. She didn’t buy it.

So I went ahead and slid the toothpick through the Troll’s legs and gave him a woody anyway.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

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  1. Noah L says:

    Yeah, you definitely have a unique form of creativity. Are you gonna attach some large grains of sea salt to that toothpick next? On an unrelated note, the inability to format a Zip disk is entertaining, but I had a user who said “I’m trying to save this file but my computer just gives me a blue screen. Why?” “Because you are trying to save a 20mb PowerPoint to a floppy disk” “Oh…does that matter?”. And to top it off, it was my 8th grade math teacher

  2. Mike says:

    Sea salt? If I was going to go through that much trouble, I’d bust out the Play-Doh and sculpt the whole package. ;)

    Oh, the stories I could tell about teachers and the problems they have…

  3. Noah L says:

    Haha, yeah, you have a point there.

    I have plenty of those stories myself. I was the computer-geek kid, so guess who got to help the teachers from 1st grade on? How about “I don’t have a network connection” “So what do you call this wire that you’re stepping on?” “…a network connection?” and then there is “This printer won’t work! I set it right next the computer but I still can’t print to it!” “…did you plug it in?” “No, it’s a wireless printer.” “…”

  4. Mike says:

    Nice! It’s scary how easy it is to corrupt kids’ toys. I still love the alphabet caterpillar that I had cussing within 10 seconds of getting it out of the box.

  5. And sometimes, we nothing has to be done. Did you see this one?