I came home from lunch to find the Squirt had been given a Thanksgiving-themed Troll doll at library day today. Two seconds later, I picked it up and went rummaging through the kitchen cabinets.
“What’re you doing?” the Wife asked. She had that exasperated tone that suggested she was also rolling her eyes at me.
“Nothing,” I promised.
She knew better. She’s only been through 15 years of these shenanigans. When I found what I needed and sat down beside her at the table, she put down her book and crossed her arms.
“What?” I asked.
“Get it over with.”
“I’m just sitting here! Why do you always have to assume I’m up to something? All I want to do is spend a few minutes with my lovely bride before I have to go back to work, and here you are making me the bad guy. Frankly, I’m offended that you could think that of me.”
Yeah. She didn’t buy it.
So I went ahead and slid the toothpick through the Troll’s legs and gave him a woody anyway.