Power Rangers are still around, but they’ve multiplied. Operation Overdrive, Space Patrol Delta, Jungle Fury, Imperial Sex Drones, Mystic Force, it goes on and on (though I may have made one of those up).

But at least they all exist to fight. Blue’s never in danger in Blue’s Clues. The Backyardigans only have imaginary adventures. The Little Einsteins are protected by Rocket. The Higglytown Heroes are Hillary Clinton’s Village as translated by Babushka dolls (and they’re more like Weebles, so they’ll never fall down). Little Bear is a bear, so nobody’s going to screw with him.

Dora’s the only one living in a twisted fantasy world! It’s just like Disney does with all the old Hans Christian Anderson tales or Greek mythology: they castrate them and weed out all the scary-bad-evil shit so the kids can watch.

In case you think I’m out of touch because me young’n is grown, hearken back to the days of the Power Rangers and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – that is when my son was a wee boyo. There were lots of messages there in those ‘toons, not the least being that giant sewer rats could become martial arts’ wise masters. Still, I did my darnedest to ignore the situation and not interrupt the liquidation of my son’s mental capacity. I recommend you do the same. That way there’s more to tease them about when they grow older.

-Mikey-