Your Modern World Kicks Your Balls In

Two more entries to Your Modern World tonight.

First up, diseases are a common problem in the modern world. Sure, we’ve made many advances and have eliminated things like smallpox, but we still have to deal with the occasional outbreak. Most societies deal with this through immunizations and vaccines, as well as prevent the spread of disease through hygiene, germ cleansers, and in extreme cases, quarantine.

That’s just not good enough in the backwater villages of India. How do they deal with it? They marry their daughters off to frogs. Yeah, that’s going to end well.

Next time I catch pneumonia, I’ll marry the Little Bird off to a hamster. Fix me right up.

In our second entry, we’re drawing closer and closer to the dreaded 2012 apocalypse as predicted by the Maya. There have been books and TV shows devoted to the date, and theories abound as to what the world-destroying event could actually be.

Putting aside the failure to learn a lesson from Y2K hysteria and the fact that the date is just a nice round number in the Mayan calendar (just like 2000 on our Gregorian calendar), has anyone stopped to realize they’re worried about predictions from people who practiced human sacrifice to appease their gods?

They needed rain, they sacrificed people. They needed more crops, they sacrificed people. They needed the sun to come up the next morning, they sacrificed people. I’m just not going to get myself too worked up over the last page of a calender worked out by some assholes who’d cut my heart out as an insurance policy for reaching that last page.

Makes me wonder if we’re really making any progress after all.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

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  1. Noah L says:

    People are paranoid about everything. I’m still not sure what makes them think that ancient people are any better at predicting the end of the world than scientists trained to analyze the data about our world. Worst case scenario, people freak out on Christmas of 2012, and the day after Christmas will be somber–either out of relief, embarrassment, or shock at stupidity, depending on your views. I remember seeing one of those TV specials on it where they said the Mayans believed that all the animals would turn against them on that day. Somehow, they had a parakeet rip open its cage and kill a guy, and some other guy got his tie sucked into a fax machine (still not sure what technology has to do with animals, but oh well). Fun stuff :P

    • Mike says:

      The 12/21/12 is the end of a calendar cycle that is, if memory serves, 13,000 years long. The Mayans believed this would mark the end of the world and the rebirth of a new one. This means we have believers in a religion that says the Earth is no more than 6000 years old sweating the end of the world on a 13,000-year calendar.

      Superstition is a strange and powerful animal.

  2. Noah L says:

    Ah, my mistake–I had thought it was 12/25/12, hence my “day after Christmas” commentary. Yeah, I can’t say that most superstitions or religions make much sense, but they definitely serve to instill fear, and therefor loyalty. That’s why I like Bhuddists in general; “Life is good if you are good to others, it doesn’t matter who believes what” is a pretty nice generalization of all the Bhuddists I’ve met.