A Perfect Mother's Day Gift

Cards are great for our own moms, but those of us with families are under a bit more pressure to make sure our wives are taken care of on Mother’s Day. They bust their butts every day to raise our hellish offspring lovely children, and they make sure the home is taken care of while we’re at work.

So I started thinking about what would make a good Mother’s Day gift. Jewelry is always a safe bet, but that doesn’t usually scream “mom” since we all figured out moms wearing pearls and high heels while they vacuum the house was bullshit. Time to find a family dog? No, that would just mean a gift of more work. New kitchenware, pots and pans? Only if I want them lodged in my sphincter for the next week.

Time to think in more abstract terms. The Wife truly does enjoy being a mom, and the three filthy rugrats beautiful angels infesting brightening our home make her happier than just about any random piece of junk off a store shelf that I’d be able to come up with. Perhaps, then, the best thing to do would be to give her a gift to commemorate the occasion of motherhood. Something to remind her of how great it was to bring her three little monsters darlings into this world.

Ah-HA! I’ve got just the thing:

(Romantic, isn’t? Sorry, ladies. I’m taken.)

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

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  1. Barry says:

    Lol. Not getting any lately?