The Art of Wooing

People often say to me  “Mike, your wife is pretty, sweet, kind, and gentle. She’s everything you’re not. How did an asshole like you land a girl like that?”

Let me school you chumps: it’s all about music.

Music is the gateway to everyone’s heart. Music soothes the savage beast, and it makes savage beasts like me charming and romantic. (Just don’t ask me to dance. Dance = Disaster.) Music brings us all together. It heightens the senses and brightens the emotions, and bridges the broadest of gaps.

Of course, it’s all about choosing the right music. The wrong tempo or a miscalculated lyric can bring your wooing ways to a screeching halt. So I’m going to share with you the ultimate love song. It’s got everything you need: a mellow, head-bobbing beat, a simple rhythm, a gentle sound, and there are only two verses for your tiny brains to hang on to.

Dig it:

Works every time. Trust me.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

One comment

  1. Troy says:

    WTF? Why the face?

    My dick is burning?

    Troy :-)