Coming Soon: Douchebag Lit

I’m not sure what else to call this crap by Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi from Jersey Shore, which I fear will spawn a whole genre. It’ll be on end caps, then we’ll see shelves like we do Twilight and its ilk.

I fully expected it to be garbage, but the excerpts that have come out take it to a whole new level. An example of her shining brilliance:

“Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”

I think the ghostwriter dropped about twenty IQ points trying to channel Snooki. In fact, most folks are already blaming the book’s very presence on the ghostwriter. I disagree. I blame the editor, the publisher, and the people who made Snooki a star. This is someone cashing in on the success of a TV show, and the ghostwriter was just following orders and collecting a paycheck. This is like Hollywood, pandering to the lowest common denominator because people are suckers for celebrity culture.

It’s all about glorifying stupidity.

I had hope it may actually bomb because I’m told the students at our school have expressed no interest in it; they haven’t asked the librarian to stock it, and they haven’t asked to borrow it from another library. Unfortunately it’s doing very well on Amazon’s sales rank. It’s averaging three stars on the reviews, but half of the five-star reviews are sarcastic.

The rest of the good reviews are from people like this:

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.


  1. Anonymous Because I don't want to be harassed says:

    Who did she hire to ghostwrite for her, Nickolaus Pacione?

  2. Jason I says:

    I really didn’t think it could get much worse than it did during the height of the twilight craze. I don’t know that I can go into a book store and stare at a end cap of books by the people from jersey shore and the freaking Kardashians.