Dear Illinois weather:
It’s the middle of April. There’s no reason for this bitter cold and rain. In fact, the following picture was taken just over a year ago, and I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. You should look like this again.
The weather dudes say early next week you’ll take us up to about 80 degrees, but you will continue to piss down rain and throw thunderstorms at us. After that we’ll get some sun, but it will get cold and windy again. Thanks for nothing. You tease like a cougar at a Boy Scout festival.
What do you have in store for us this summer? Monsoons? Surprise blizzards? Hot hail? I can’t wait to find out.
And you wonder why I want to move to Hawai’i.
Your bitter enemy,