Insult to Toe Injury

One expects karate injuries during workouts and sparring. One does not expect injury during dojo pizza parties.

Thursday night a student ran at me and did a kneeslide toward my legs. His knee slammed into the front of my right big toe, jamming the toe and the nail. It bled, I cleaned it up, decided I’ll probably lose the nail, and moved on. I’ve had worse in class. Ripped a toenail during judo work, probably broke a toe another time, and I’ve had several other scrapes, bumps and bruises.

Sunday morning? Pus. Uh-oh. Cleaned it out again, realized there’s a small tear in or under the nail bed. Today I showed it to the nurse practitioner.

“You’re going to lose the nail,” she says.

Been there, done that. She recommends soaking it to clean it. No problem, my old podiatrists had me doing salt water soaks in my teens and twenties when I dealt with some ingrown toenails. Then she recommended an antibiotic just in case. No prob, right?

Check this shit out:

Side Effects

And I do mean "shit"

Yeah, that’s great news. No wonder it only costs four bucks a bottle. For those who can’t read the blurry stuff, here’s the transcription (pants-shitting emphasis mine):

May cause diarrhea during treatment. If it persists or becomes severe, tell your doctor or pharmacist.

Persistent diarrhea due to colitis may rarely occur weeks to months after using antibiotics. If this occurs, notify your doctor or pharmacist promptly.

Read the bold bits together for the full effect. Let that shit sink in (pun fully intended). I just took the first dose, and I picture a depth charge making its way through my guts.

One little toe injury and I have this to look forward to:

Maybe I can get True Lies-era Jamie Lee Curtis to spoon-feed me Activia to counter the effects. While dancing.

“No, do it… slower. Do it… sexy.”

Yeees…

Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh, right. Just don’t stand behind me for a while.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

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