Satellite Services Are Doomed to Fail

Unless they’re willing to change their money-grubbing ways, that is. Check out this offer I received from SiriusXM today:

Sirius Offer

Please come back! Please?

They’re like that chick you dated in high school: they just keep teasing you and stretching things along, never quite delivering, until you call it quits. Then it’s all begging and blow jobs until you’re happy, and a few months later the cycle starts all over again.

DirecTV operates the same way. Cha-ching, cha-ching! on your credit card every month. Then you tell ’em you’re leaving and they bury you with special offers and discounts in junk mail and spam.

This is why I’ve cut them both off and won’t be going back. After the five months of this discount offer—see, I knew you spotted that asterisk, too—they automatically renew your subscription at the standard rate every three months. Forget it, I’m done. It’s not me, it’s definitely you, bitches.

One would think they would wise up. If they offered more reasonable pricing or flexible packages and the oft-promised-but-never-delivered á la carte programming, maybe fewer people would be inclined to seek out alternatives in the first place.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

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