Posts under ‘Idiocy’

A Florida teacher has been fired because — I kid you not — he’s been accused of wizardry. When Tim sent me the article, I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or scream. In a nutshell, this guy performed a magic trick with a toothpick in front of a middle school class and he got fired [...]

And the protesters and crybabies can kiss my ass.
So it’s the “gravest assault upon children in this country since polio,” is it? Shut up, douche. Some of us are smart enough not to play the game when the kids are around. Some of us actually have the balls to tell our children “no” when they [...]

From a distance, the human body is a thing of beauty. Get up close, though, and things start to break down.
And I’m about to tell you about one of the more intimate places things break down. If you’re at all squeamish or the type to scream “too much information!” at the merest hint of something [...]

Only you can prevent penis theft.
Wha…?
It would seem the Congolese think penis theft is a legitimate problem, and it’s led to a number of beatings and lynchings.
It’s like a perverse take on stealing a child’s nose: “I’ve got your dick! Yes I do!”
Sadly, unlike your average four-year-old child, these idiots actually believe it.

Driving home at 3am last night, it occurred to me that I need a theme song (which you’d already know if you follow my Twitter feed). In fact, everyone should have one. Something to at once provide a jolt of energy and convey mood to all those around us. Something without lyrics, that would explain [...]

No, I haven’t forgotten about the Muy Mal relaunch. Have I neglected it? Hrm. Kind of hard to argue with that one.
I’ve been working on a novella instead. One that needs to be done pretty quick, or a publisher may start losing patience with me. I was getting up a good head of steam on [...]

When I first heard Kid Rock’s “So Hott”, the opening chords really caught my attention. I was in the car, and after a few seconds I reached down and turned up the radio. The intro rolled on for a while, and I got pumped up waiting for the song to really kick in.
Then the first [...]

There’s a physicist who thinks he’s got airplane boarding all figured out. According to his models, if you get everyone lined up properly before they get on the plane, boarding will go a lot faster. It all sounds good on paper, but the moment you introduce real people the whole thing’s going to collapse.
First off, [...]

The last several times I’ve gone to the theater have been miserable experiences, and Friday night was no exception.
It’s those times it would be really nice to have the Scanners head-exploding powers.

Take the two trendy teen couples who sat down behind me. They tripped over one another getting to their seats, one of the guys [...]

My resume is still floating around on Career Builder, and every so often it sends me an email of job matches based on what it sees in my resume. Today it suggested I apply for a post-mastectomy fitter position at an area hospital.
Maybe it knows about all that ASCII porn the old-school Unix guys throw [...]