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Today’s Emissions

Mike — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 04:59:59 +0000

And now… Grande margaritas, stat! #
This cigar is aching to be lit. #
Would like to catch UFC, but the bar is hooked on basesball bullshit. *sigh* #
@audiofyl Vas is das “Elite XC” you speak of? #
@cullenbunn speaks wisdom. #
Fine motor control already toast. Ahh, takillya. #
@audiofyl WHAT?! Kimbo Slice on network TV? I officially hate this goddamn bar. #
SCREW BASEBALL. I WANT CAGE FIGHTING. #
@audiofyl Only 2 TVs and too many baseball pansies. Will have to catch recaps online. Mike Oliveri is going to have to choke a bitch. #
Might have to finish @cullenbunn’s grande margarita because he won’t man up. #
@cullenbunn has tequila in him. Says he is the Magus Prime and to suck it @briankeene. #
@cullenbunn is messed up on takillya. He is the one who needs protection. #
A pokemon is planting kisses on a pirate. My world view is upside down. #
Pass on Scope & Robitussin. Getting more free beer and a cigar. #
Almost fought 2 ninjas and a klingon. The night is still young, though, so there’s time to fix it. #
@cullenbunn would rather drink Robitussin than smoke an Avo #3; judge him not, for takillya has fouled his judgement. #
I’m told @cullenbunn spilled his Robitussin all over himself. Lightweight! Should have come out for a cigar. #
Ho. Lee. Shit. Once again, if only you could see what I see. (Nope, no pitchers, suckers.) #
Shawn refused to cut in on slave girl Leia, thus denying me another fight (gotta back up my boy, don’tcha know). #
3:12am. @cullenbunn has disappeared. I have danced. Shawn missed out again on Slave Leia. Cobra Commander has wandered away. Helloooo nurse. #
Please do keep that thing on a leash. #
Told Shawn “Throw them gimpy legs right over your shoulders.” I am so going to Hell. #
Time to cash in the chips. #
Getting speechified by @cullenbunn for abandoning him last night. #
Got aspirin, sammich and tea and am headed for home. #
Note to self: sending flirty text messages to the Wife at 3:30am is frowned upon. #
Back home with my baby and our babies. #

Today’s Emissions

Mike — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 04:59:59 +0000

The dealer couple behind us are getting into an argument. Meanwhile, I’ve made $2. Woohoo! #
Almost burned down the next table. #
Need to try harder next time. #
My panel is coming up soon. “Make Prose Work for Your Book” — I think I can fake my way through that. #
2 minutes to panel start, and we have 3 people in the crowd, including @cullenbunn. Margarita time! #
I need a gun. #
No, really. Gun. Now. #
“Harlan Ellison does not write science fiction.” WTF?! #
I need Scanners powers – stat! #
Fuck the next panel, it’s margarita time! #
http://twitpic.com/egow – IT’S MARGARITA TIME #
@cullenbunn and I are smoking the last of the Perdomos @greyhawk68 left me. We are surrounded by pirates and fat angels. #
Oh if you could see the things I’ve seen tonight… #
@VanHalen1970 and @Locnar1970 really should come next year. #
@briankeene Understand, @Locnar1970 and @VanHalen1970 know better than to subject themselves to panels and a dealers table. #
@BrianKeene They would game by day and party by night, both of which are available in copious quantities here. #
Just in time for dealers room opening. I can hardly contain my joy. But hey, at least I’m not on a panel like @cullenbunn. #
Ninjas must be in vogue again. #
“Good morning, how are you?” must be Klingon for “I’ll cut you!” based on the way some of these people react. #
Made two more dollars. WOO-HOO! #
Brightening @cullenbunn’s panel experience with obscene text messages. If he takes my advice, he will be a LEGEND. #
PLEASE STOP WITH THE UTILIKILTS #
@VanHalen1970 Yup. And I’m dying a little more every minute. #
Made another sale. Urge to use karate… fading. #
Just saw a dude wearing a cloak. And he’s NOT IN COSTUME. #
MILFs brighten my day like little rays of sunshine. #
@VanHalen1970 Rest assured, Moleskine is at hand. #
A steampunk MILF. Intriguing. (Oh my God I’ve been here too long stab out my fucking eyes and end my misery.) #
That pulled pork sammich would have been a lot better had it not been riding around on the delivery cart for half an hour. #
Urge to use karate… rising. #
@jimohagan Archon SF convention in Collinsville near St Louis. #
I shall call her Boobie Fett. #
@cindybunn’s arch enemy arrived. Am now sitting back and waiting for Cindy to snap. #
Definitely not a comics crowd this weekend. @cullenbunn has sold about as many Damned as I have CotW. May be time to abandon ship. #
@Meteornotes a) she never came down our aisle, and b) this was a relative milf (the bar is set pretty low here) #
AAAGGGHHH!! MY EYES!! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!! #
@Meteornotes Female Boba Fett complete with specially molded Mandalorian breastplate. The fact I know that name scares me. #
Was nodding off. Jumped up to get my second wind. Panel changeover means sudden traffic spike, but they won’t buy anything. #
Lots of furries this year, accounting for over half my sales. Perhaps I SHOULD give Cole’s sister in Call of the Wild six titties. #
We have officially abandoned the table. Now it’s supper and margaritas at Zapata’s! #
You know it’s getting bad when the waiter both recognizes you and knows what your order is going to be. #

Share My Pain

Mike — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 19:59:48 +0000

Share My Pain
Originally uploaded by MikeOliveri.

Pray it doesn’t turn around.

Con Peril

Mike — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 14:25:08 +0000

To read my Tweets, one would think I’m having a miserable time at this convention.

Not true.

The problem with being a dealer or professional at a convention is being trapped behind a table and having to take both the good and the bad of the swarming masses. Yes, there are some good people walking around, but sadly, many who come to a convention like this have the social skills of a third grader. These people are the reason there’s a stereotype for sci-fi fans and comic geeks.

Fortunately your average geek also knows how to party. Last night I got free beer, got invited to VisionCon by the organizers, had a cigar, took in the con nightlife, and watched a drunken idiot in a pirate shirt get ejected from the dance club for groping geek chicks. There is a three-hour gap in the Twitter feed because I’m not lame enough to whip out the CrackBerry in the middle of a good time, but a panel that went off the rails is fair game.

Soon I’ll be back behind the dealers room table so I can be told Call of the Wild would have been more successful if it featured big tits and furry porn. I think it’s penance for the free beer.

Today’s Emissions

Mike — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 04:59:59 +0000

10 pages of Tweets has made me glad I went to karate rather than watch the debates. #
Can now count the time to ‘jitas and ‘ritas in hours. Picking up the rental car soon. Woohoo! #
@Meteornotes Not a whole lot of active folks, but a good half dozen or so were tweeting throughout the debates. #
@cullenbunn Yessir. Are we sure we wanted a table? This is going to cut down on our margarita time again. #
@cullenbunn We’ll make Shawn man the table Saturday and earn his keep. Muhahahahahah! #
I hope this rental will have Sirius or XM. Or at least a jack for my iPod. #
Rental is a shiny new Pontiac G6. It has XM. Was excited about manual transmission option until I used it and found it waaaayyyy lame. #
Shaved. Now looking pretty for @cullenbunn. Belly and gas tank are full. Time to load the car and hit the road. Collinsville is doomed. #
Almost forgot cigars. That would have been death. #
Electronic manual transmission is like jerking off: sure, it gets the job done, but it’s not near as much fun as the real thing. #
Why did we get a table again? The bar is the place to be! #
Yep. Already regretting the table. #
Apparently some people DO need to be told they’re too big for belly shirts. #
It’s just not a con without the Space Music guy. #
The dude next to us is not going to survive the night. #

IT’S MARGARITA TIME

Mike — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 03:01:40 +0000

IT’S MARGARITA TIME
Originally uploaded by MikeOliveri.

‘Nuff said.

Fajitas on the way.

Werewolf Titties

Mike — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 23:23:48 +0000

Werewolf Titties
Originally uploaded by MikeOliveri.

So I’m standing here, hawking my wares, and the dealer next to us comes and looks at my comics.

He flips through, then says “Umm, yeah,” and scurries away.

I did not snap.

Then he handed me the cover to his web comic sampler, complete with ginormous anime boobs and furries. Called it “werewolves without the angst” and again scurried away.

I did not snap.

However, the night is young, and the guy across from us is selling swords and axes.

Have bail money ready.

And So It Begins

Mike — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 19:58:17 +0000

And So It Begins
Originally uploaded by MikeOliveri.

Arrived at Archon. First stop: Zapata’s!

Shifting to Con Mode

Mike — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 15:59:53 +0000

I’m leaving for Archon near St Louis shortly, so the blog will be shifting into con mode in 3… 2… 1… now.

In other words, this space will be filled with Tweets from the con floor and from whichever bar Cullen and I drag our asses into. (Of course, if you’re reading this on MySpace, you’re SOL. Shoot over to The Malice Engine for the real deal.) I imagine the occasional mobile blog post and a picture or two will also make their way to the page.

If you’ll be down in the Collinsville, IL, area, stop by the convention center and find us at the table. Buy some comics. Shoot the breeze. Buy us drinks. We don’t bite (assuming you bought us drinks).

Today’s Emissions

Mike — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 04:59:59 +0000

@jackdrew Can’t argue with that! #
Retweet @jackdrew: @mikeoliveri – you’re Ninja/Octagon post reminded me of something – http://www.grumpstump.com/squidoo/pirates.jpg #
@jackdrew That pic is also strangely appropriate for Archon near St Louis this weekend. #
Awake. I curse the light. #
I have so far spent my work day resisting the urge to go and choke a certain someone out. Tomorrow’s ‘jitas and ‘ritas are gonna ROCK. #
@jackdrew Congrats on the writing progress, bro. Keep it up! #
The small press is a complete waste of fucking time. I will bury my ire with Chinese food at this retaurant I’m trying for the first time. #
This is my 3,000th Tweet. Obviously I have no life. #
On the way to karate. Let’s see if we can finally get the Midget his blue belt. #