Tag Archive for children

Photo Friday: Kids Freak Me Out

I told my kid a little about Children of the Corn.

Child of the Corn

When you see it…

Yeah. I think I’ll sleep with the lights on, now.

And string a bunch of pots and pans across his bedroom door.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Alpha Monsters

I should suggest this video to the Little Bird’s kindergarten teacher to help the kids learn the alphabet.

It would be easy. Just introduce a letter and play the movie. Would be a lot more fun than Zoophonics.

Plus it would give the school psychologists and counselors a chance to really earn their paychecks.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Willful Ignorance

I walked into our high school computer lab today while students were using a website called Career Cruising to browse through their college and career options. Here are some of the things I overheard:

“Man, I don’t want to learn a foreign language! I want people to speak to me in English!”

A student nearby agreed: “Yeah, I’m in America, you should speak American!”

Then the subject turned to classes: “Brit Lit? Is that like British Literature? I don’t want to read what some British guy wrote!”

Another student asked: “What’s literature, anyway? Is that like reading?”

One girl asked another what child development was. The response: “That’s when you get to play with kids all day.” The counter: “Oh, I’m taking that! I want lots of babies.”

One kid expressed excitement that I’d cracked open the side of a computer, and told his friend to check it out. The friend’s response: “Who cares what the inside looks like?”

Having worked in education for over 7 years now, I can tell you this is very common. It’s very easy to just shake my head and say things like “The future is screwed.” The fact is, however, this is nothing new. I knew kids in high school who were just as bad, and there always has been (and always will be) underachievers and kids who are just plain stupid.

What’s really depressing about it is it’s never been easier to get an education. Kids don’t have to go to the library or look for books anymore, they can tap out a few keystrokes and find whatever they need. They can talk to more people than ever, and even kids in rural areas like mine have a great window to other cultures. In short, the Internet and technology really can be all that the education wonks wish it to be, the trick is making kids care.

Just as before, the tools are there. It’s just the kids would rather swap drunken party stories on MySpace than browse books on Project Gutenberg or learn Japanese.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

When Ferrets Attack

My friend Clark is the principal for a rural Illinois school district, and he sent me this story. Enjoy.

One of our fourth grade classes returned from lunch today and proceeded to do what they always do – sit down and listen to a story read by the teacher.  This teacher has several classroom pets – hamsters, guinea pigs, turtles, and a ferret.  Students who have completed about each animal are allowed to hold the animals during story time.  One youngster liberated a hamster from the cage and was petting it and carrying it around.  Another student was holding the ferret, and the first student approached the second to say something.

During that moment, the ferret realized that its need for a REAL lunch was right there and strikes.  The ferret gets the hamster by the neck and sinks in its teeth.  The hamster chomps down on finger of the child holding it.  Chaos ensues.  The teacher has to wrench the jaws of the dying hamster to get the child out of the bite.  Nothing could convince the ferret to let go of the hamster, and it ends up with a large chunk of hamster flesh in its bloody maw.  The maimed hamster makes a final trip out of the room for a coup de’grace and the child goes to the doctor.

Needless to say, the social worker had to visit the classroom.

I can only imagine the tears and screaming that must have ensued. The only thing that would have made this better is if the class was currently doing a unit on Charles Darwin.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.