Tag Archive for jimmy john’s

The War for Your Sammich: Jimmy John’s vs Subway

I think this has to be the best billboard placement I’ve seen in Peoria.

Jimmy John's Billboard
It’s on now!

For the record, I’m a Jimmy John’s guy. Subway drives me insane.

I go into a Jimmy John’s, I say “I’d like a number eight on wheat, no tomato,” and nine times out of ten they have it sitting there waiting for me before I’m finished paying.

Walk into a Subway and I have to play the “What do you want on it?” game. This irritates me for two reasons. First is when there’s a specific sandwich they’re offering. Take when they offered a Cuban sandwich, for example. A Cuban has a specific recipe. Yet when I order a Cuban, they ask “What do you want on it?” I want a frickin’ Cuban! I want what comes on a Cuban!

Generally when I darken their door, I know what I want and I can take them through my build-a-sammich pretty quick. But this leads me to beef number 2: every other pinhead is stumped by the question. When someone says “I’d like a six-inch Subway club” and they’re befuddled when asked which bread they want it on, I know I’m in for a long wait. This should not be rocket science. Tell the sandwich monkey what you like on your sandwich, and he will make said sandwich and I can get on with telling the sandwich monkey what I like on my sandwich. If you walk into a Subway and say “Uhh…” at any point during the sandwich-making process, you should be sent to the end of the line with a big picture poster of all the condiments so, when it’s finally your turn again, you can slap your meaty paw on the poster and say “Mungo want lettuce” you ignorant dunce.

Subway may have healthy food options, but I’d like to see the statistic on how many heart attacks occur in the sandwich line because some old lady doesn’t understand what “Do you want that toasted?” means. (And by the way, screw you, Quizno’s, for forcing them to inflict that upon us. Screw you and those mutant cats shilling your shitty sandwiches.)

One last rant: a nearby Subway is offering pizzas ready in one minute. You know what? I want no part of that. No pizza that is ready in one minute is worth eating.

Jimmy John’s: saving our sanity one sandwich at a time.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

The World is Just Awesome

My family is hooked on this Discovery Channel commercial:

Apparently Coop is, too; he sent me the audio via multimedia message with his shiny new phone. If the kids start acting up in the car, I press a couple buttons and they’re suddenly singing along with the boomdiadas.

Personally, I think it’s a brilliant bit of advertising: it’s eye-catching, it’s got a good audio hook, it showcases all of their popular shows, and it has that feel-good quality with that “the world is just awesome” slogan.

Another current favorite is a new radio spot for Jimmy John’s featuring a stalker. The narrator talks about falling in love with a woman who makes sandwiches. After he talks about the sandwiches, he says he’s going to marry her and they will make sandwiches together and the world will be a better place. If she doesn’t marry him, he says “she will be very, very sorry.” All delivered in the same deadpan manner. Too cool.

I tinkered a bit with advertising and marketing in college, weighing it against journalism as a way to make a career out of writing and/or creativity should my writing never take off. It’s things like this that make me wish I’d pursued advertising a little harder.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

That's Why I Don't Eat It

Take a few minutes to browse through this fast food nutrition chart provided by A Calorie Counter. You can click the charts to sort the various columns, essentially ranking foods and restaurants by calories, fat content, trans fats, and so on.

I played around with it this morning, and man, it’ll curl your hair. If you consider the alleged average person’s daily intake of 2,000 calories, one meal at Mickey D’s could kill your day. For example, a Big Mac and a large fry come to a total of 1,110 calories, and that’s without the 42-ounce soda they try to upgrade you to (which, by the way, is damn near half a gallon, and I know someone who says she drinks 2-3 of these a day because she works for the Evil Arches).

It’s also a good reminder that even chicken isn’t safe. When I go to Hardee’s, I like to get their charbroiled chicken club sandwich. I don’t always get the fries, but let’s assume I did (and use the large info, because medium isn’t provided). That comes to 1,170 calories. Hrm. Maybe the difference is in the fat?

Nope. McD’s comes to 59 total grams and Hardee’s to 58. Hardly enough to give chicken a definitive edge. Trans fats? 9.5 grams at McD’s. Hardee’s? “Unknown.” In the end, if you’re going to eat fast food you may as well stick to your favorites, because they’re all going to kill you the same way. You may be able to pick and choose based on fats and trans fats, but the calories are still what adds up around the waistline.

If I run a Basal Metabolic Rate calculation, I should be able to take in about 2,200 calories a day and maintain my current weight. A Hardee’s lunch gets me halfway there. My wife is quite a bit smaller than I, and the BMR calculator says that same lunch is 75% of her daily calories. By the way, that’s without the bucket of soda they serve you. Ever see a Hardee’s medium? It’s a large at most restaurants. Sure, I get iced tea instead of soda, but if it comes out of the same Syrup of Death machine, it can’t be much better, can it?

I guess Hardee’s is fine if I want to eat like a rabbit the rest of the day. But wait a minute, what about subs?

I like Jimmy John’s. I think their sandwiches blow Subway’s away, and I like that I can say “Give me this sandwich, no tomatoes” and they have it to me in 17 seconds or less. My personal favorite is the Italian nightclub sandwich, usually on their whole-grain wheat bread which makes the whole package look like a Dagwood special. It’s a deli sandwich, so it’s got to be better than that McD’s crap, right?

Not so much, actually: 1,011 calories and 57 grams of fat. That’s for the sandwich alone, no side of chips. I guess that’s the end of giant clubs. The good news, at least, is if I can limit myself to the 8″ sandwiches, I can cut that calorie count in half: the Big John, a basic roast beef sandwich, weighs in with 558 calories and 27 grams of fat. Good if not great, and certainly filling.

Unfortunately there’s not a convenient Jimmy John’s around, so let’s look at Subway. I like the Italian BMT, untoasted, on wheat bread, with pepperjack cheese. That’s 450 calories and 21 grams of fat. Throw on mustard, mayo, vinegar, oil, lettuce, and onion, and it’s probably in the Big John’s neighborhood. I can also get mik instead of soda, but I give Jimmy John’s the nod for having a bigger sandwich (8″ vs 6″ and having tastier bread).

Now let’s make it a little more fair. Even at the delis, you’re probably going to get a side item. Subway doesn’t have lists for their chips (probably because the selection varies by franchise), but the Jimmy John’s house brand jalapeño chips have 150 calories, so let’s call that a chip average. You’re still topping out around 700 calories of food at a deli shop, saving you a good 400 calories over their fry-pushing cousins.

Notice I didn’t say burger-pushing. For sandwiches alone, the burger-based fast food joints don’t do too bad. A Wendy’s spicy chicken fillet sandwich is 440 calories, which puts it neck-and-neck with Subway in the sandwich battle. No, it’s the 540 calories in their fries that does the real damage.

Consider the fact you can’t get out of spitting distance of a McD’s in a big city, and half the time you can find a Burger King and/or Wendy’s right across the street. They all have their snazzy combos, they all push those mega fries and super-sized drinks on you for just a few cents more, and most people consider that a full meal. They bombard us with commercials, and at lunchtime you can find their drive-through window lines backed up to the street.

Is it any wonder we’re staring down an obesity epidemic?

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.