The Oliveris don’t screw around on Halloween: we walk door-to-door until our legs give out, hitting every single house with the porch light on. We see a lot of people driving their kids around, or only visiting certain houses, and that just doesn’t make sense to me.
Morticia, a chainsaw killer, and a Grim Reaper
My kids all opt to dress as something horror-related, which makes me a proud papa. It bums me out seeing all these kids dressed as clowns, fairies, princesses, bugs, and (this year) Cardinals baseball players. Yeah, I know that’s their idea of fun, but come on! It’s Halloween, people! Haunted houses and ghost stories! While we did see a few other reapers, skeletons, and ghost-faced killers, they were in the minority.
Tomorrow she cuts her first black metal album
We chose a new route this year, and according to Google Maps we logged a hair over two miles. I was ready to take the kids down three more blocks, but they were done. In fact, the oldest had collected so much loot, the handles on his bag broke just as we hit the last block before home.
"Leatherface was a pussy!"
We got our first religious paraphernalia this year, too. Some old lady handed out a little booklet called “The Devil’s Night” and a book on 101 favorite Bible stories. The latter is a full-sized book and is actually kind of nice, but the little pamphlet is a comic book telling kids Halloween is evil and leads them to witchcraft. I’ll scan it and post it when I have time. It’s pretty bad, even for what it’s trying to do.
"Your candy... or your SOUL!"
The middle child, dressed as a reaper, didn’t get anything from the old lady. I didn’t hear the conversation and didn’t find out what they got until after we were walking away, but the kids said she claimed she only had two books left. I half wonder if she figured the poor little guy was already damned and she didn’t want to go near him.
If only I’d refilled my Zippo…
They made out like bandits!
On a positive note, we also ran into our first adult trying to scare people. I spotted a scarecrow on a porch, and I thought it looked a little sketchy so I kept my flashlight on him as the kids approached. Just before they got to the door, he jumped up and said “Happy Halloween!” The kids jumped and I got a good laugh out of it. Good to see some people in town still have the Halloween spirit. I heard another family had a haunted house in their garage and gave out full-sized candy bars to everyone who went through, so we’ll have to look for them next year.
All in all, we had a good night and landed more candy than the kids will be able to eat for the next few months. We got so much, in fact, the Wife and I are taking two gallon bags of the stuff to our respective workplaces, and we still have more than enough left for the kids.
Now that the kids are getting a little older, maybe next year we can look at decorating our own place. Muhahahahahah!
About Mike Oliveri
Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. His Bram Stoker Award-winning first novel, Deadliest of the Species, was just reprinted by Evileye Books.