Tag Archive for magic

How Nerdy Are You?

Another meme, this one courtesy of Shawn. For each subject, bold your level of nerdiness.

BATMAN
Not Nerdy: Going to see The Dark Knight in a theater.
Slightly Nerdy: Dressing up as the Joker for Halloween (Heath Ledger version)
Fairly Nerdy: Buying Batman comics other than Year One or The Dark Knight Returns
Nerdy: Dressing up as the Joker for Halloween (Cesar Romero version)
Really Nerdy: Writing Batman fan fiction
Dangerously Nerdy: Writing Batman fan fiction where he has sex with Alfred.

STAR WARS
Not Nerdy: Seeing the movies
Slightly Nerdy: Owning a toy lightsaber

Fairly Nerdy: Learning to play the Cantina Song on your musical instrument of choice
Nerdy: Knowing in which “expanded universe” novel Admiral Ackbar dies
Really Nerdy: Membership in a Stormtrooper fan brigade
Dangerously Nerdy: Defending the idea of Jar Jar Binks

HARRY POTTER
Not Nerdy: You read the books (not even — I’ve only seen the movies)
Slightly Nerdy: You liked all of the books
Fairly Nerdy: You own a wand
Nerdy: You read fanfic that “fixes Rowling’s mistakes”
Really Nerdy: You are a fan of “wizard rock”
Dangerously Nerdy: You have an alternate “Hogwarts persona”

MAGIC: THE GATHERING
Not Nerdy: “They still make that? I played it when I was in high school for a bit, but never got into it”
Slightly Nerdy: “Yeah, it was fun, but I couldn’t keep up with all the expansions so I sold my cards”
Fairly Nerdy: “Do you mind if I use a proxy for Nicol Bolas? I mean, he’s forty bucks”
Nerdy: “You haven’t really played this game until you play draft; it’s how the game is meant to be played”
Really Nerdy: “Okay, if we’re all supposed to be planeswalkers, how come there are planeswalker cards? Am I Ajani? I don’t feel like a lion-man”
Dangerously Nerdy: “I’ve tested this deck against all comers and now all I need is to win free airfare and I’m on my way to the World Championships in Tokyo”

H.P. LOVECRAFT
Not Nerdy: Recognizing the name “Cthulhu”
Slightly Nerdy: Knowing the proper pronunciation of “Cthulhu”
Fairly Nerdy: Owning a Cthulhu plushie.
Nerdy: Running a Call of Cthulhu campaign
Really Nerdy: Organizing a chapter of the Campus Crusade For Cthulhu
Dangerously Nerdy: Actually reading any of Lovecraft’s stories (though I think this should be swapped with Really Nerdy)

NERD TELEVISION
Not Nerdy: Lost
Slightly Nerdy: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Fairly Nerdy: Battlestar Galactica
Nerdy: Stargate: Atlantis
Really Nerdy: Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
Dangerously Nerdy: The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. (but a vague memory)

STAR TREK
Not Nerdy: The Next Generation
Slightly Nerdy: Deep Space Nine
Fairly Nerdy: the one where Picard rides a dune buggy
Nerdy: any of the novels
Really Nerdy: owning a phaser
Dangerously Nerdy: speaking fluent Klingon

COMPUTER USE
Not Nerdy: Macs
Slightly Nerdy: Knowing how to use Windows rather than just knowing “how to do emails”
Fairly Nerdy: Knowing the actual reasons Windows sucks
Nerdy: Anything to do with Linux
Really Nerdy: Getting all of the coding jokes in XKCD
Dangerously Nerdy: “I’m bringing BeOS back!”

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Son of Your Modern World

I just read that albinos are being murdered in Tanzania for the alleged magical properties of their limbs and organs.

We’ve split the atom, condensed the sum total of human knowledge onto silicon chips, and have shot satellites into the depths of space, yet a significant portion of the world’s population is still living in the Dark Ages. There may be parts of some cities I wouldn’t walk through at night, but at least I don’t have to live in fear of marauders hacking my legs off with machetes because they want to mix up some potion or another.

Yeah, I’m glad most of us have put superstition and magic behind us. Modern societies just don’t have room for — oh, wait… never mind.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

This Is Your Modern World

An Indian man claims to have a magical leg. Got a medical problem? Touch it and be healed. It even grants wishes to those in need!
Why magic would be centered in one’s leg is beyond me, but the sadder part is people believe the guy. A few men believed him enough, in fact, to chop off his leg and steal its power for themselves. It amazes me that people can still be this backward.

Sadly, even people in modern societies are not exempt from the same stupidity and gullibility. Would you ever believe someone was a secret agent with the ability to task satellites to scan your body for medical defects and then dispatch stealth doctors to creep into your home and administer appropriate remedies while you were counting sheep? I sure wouldn’t.

Yet a Louisiana couple fleeced friends and neighbors out of nearly a million bucks using just that scam.

These are the people I have difficulty summoning up sympathy for. I understand not everybody is tech savvy, but this scam is right up there with orbital mind control lasers and aluminum foil deflector beanies. I can understand people falling for real estate investment scams; those at least make some semblance of sense before the perp skips out with your cash.

If you believe Norton Antivirus can protect you from avian flu, though, and you hand over wads of cash before doing your homework, then you’ve got it coming.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.