Tag Archive for metallica

Your Top 10 Songs

Ever checked out your top ten songs? I don’t mean the ones you sit back and think up a list of, but I mean the ten songs that get the most play in your collection.

I just sorted my iTunes collection by Plays, giving me a listing of my music sorted by the number of times they’ve been played. Granted this is just going to be over the time I’ve had my iPod, but it still spans almost four years. I’d say that’s a good enough sample for my purposes.

Here, then, are my actual top 10 songs, counting down to #1 in true Billboard fashion:

10) “California Über Alles”, The Dead Kennedys
Old school punk for the win.

9) “Astronomy”, Metallica
Love this Blue Öyster Cult cover. These days I think Garage, Inc. is one of the best Metallica albums, despite it being a collection of covers.

8) “Caress Me Down”, Sublime
Mucho gusto, me llamo Mikey…

7) “Mother”, Danzig
So many reasons I dig this song. I also remember it really hitting its stride on the radio several years after its first release.

6) “Cowboys from Hell”, Pantera
This is my get-pumped-and-break-shit track. It was my Power Song on Nike+ when running, the song I’d play on the last lap to get me back home. It almost killed me twice.

5) “Wake Up”, Pepper
This, on the other hand, is my chill song. I first heard it on Sirius and was hooked.

4) “Smooth Criminal”, Alien Ant Farm
I dig this cover more than the original. While I do list it without shame, it appears high on the list because Little Bird loves this song and requests it in the car all the time. She calls it “Smooth Criminals” no matter how many times her big brothers correct her.

Yeah. I just watched the video all the way through before finishing this post.

3) “Electric Worry”, Clutch
“You can have your riches, all the gold you save, ain’t room for one thing in everybody’s grave.” Word. I was thrilled to see this song take off when it got used in the Left 4 Dead commercials. Selling out? Hell no. That’s called spreading the gospel, son.

2) “Waiting Room”, Fugazi
I was hooked on the bassline for a while. I’m kind of surprised I got it cranked to the top this way, but at the same time, when it shows up on shuffle, I don’t think I’ve ever skipped it. It was also part of my running playlist.

1) “Rock & Roll Outlaw”, Clutch
Clutch brings home two of the top three? Hells yes they do! One of the best live acts I’ve ever seen. Nonsense lyrics and a killer jam for the win. The Squirt picks this one a lot, and I’m always happy to play it with him. We sing it together. Hell, I’ve even caught him sitting alone in his room singing “Ee-aw, ee-aw, ee-aw, I’m a rock & roll outlaw!” Crank up your speakers and throw up the horns for the almighty Clutch:

So how ’bout it? What does your top 10 look like? Post in the comments, or post to your own blog and link back in the comments. No cheating!

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Happy Valentine's Day!

A touching, tender love song for all the ladies out there.

No? Perhaps this one, then.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Gimme a Theme Song (or Three)

Driving home at 3am last night, it occurred to me that I need a theme song (which you’d already know if you follow my Twitter feed). In fact, everyone should have one. Something to at once provide a jolt of energy and convey mood to all those around us. Something without lyrics, that would explain itself in the beat, the pitch, and the tone. It worked for Peter Griffin, right?

It occurred to me, then, that we actually need three. Well, at least three, but I feel these three, if written correctly, can be adapted to just about any situation we might encounter. They are as follows:


Speaks for itself, yes? To follow the Squirt’s example, why walk when you can strut? Why stand when you can dance? I sure as hell am not going to do it without music, so why not have something blaring away as I stroll down the street? I heard Flogging Molly’s “Requiem for a Dying Song” on Sirius last night and it’s damn close; strip out the lyrics and place close attention during the chorus and you’ll feel it.

To be done right, it would need a variety of beats. Something while standing and waiting at the DMV. Something to soothe one in the security line at the airport. Something to make one’s way through a crowd to.

Something to drive to! Someone on the radio said no car should be driven without the theme to Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure blaring from the radio. Not bad, if perhaps a little over the top. Along the same line, consider the theme to The Simpsons.

You can’t tell me Danny Elfman wouldn’t be perfect to pen this one for us.


When that pinhead from the next cubicle steals the last donut from the break room, it’s time to cue up the Fight Music. It should also be good for everything from unbridled road rage to the controlled power of a sparring match, from pushing that last rep into the air or punching through that last lap. It gets the blood pumping and keeps it that way, fueling fight and flight alike. Pantera’s “Cowboys from Hell” works, but it’s way too obvious. Mötley Crüe’s “Kickstart My Heart” works in the gym, but it’s too cheery for life-and-death situations or when you just need to beat some poor bastard’s face in for pinching your girl’s arse.

It needs to be mean and offensive. It needs to shock the enemy. Thus I give you Metallica’s cover of Anti-Nowhere League’s “So What” (most certainly not safe for work).

“But wait, Mike!” you might be saying. “It has lyrics!”

To that I say “so what?” Rules were meant to be broken.



I was tempted to label this one fucking, but according to the Wife, that’s not an appropriate term for all bedroom entanglements. Thus this one is the trickiest of the three, as it has to cover those tender Barry White/Marvin Gaye moments and those times you go so fast and so hard you think your nut is going to blast her through the bedroom wall.

Want metal? I suggest Judas Priest’s “Turbo Lover”. It works. Even after you remember Rob Halford is gay halfway through the song (and the lovin’). Trust me. If you were thinking “Lick It Up”, I will queue up my Fight Music right now. Although John is probably going to recommend “Swallow That Load” (do I really need to warn you this link is not safe for work?), which I will allow just to see the hilarity that ensues.

Our conundrum here is lyrics. If the song is going to tell us what to do, then we may as well watch pr0n. “Pause it, honey! I’m not there yet!” Not quite my thing. Or hers. Not to mention if I asked her to try some of the things on the Internet, she’d have me castrated. The old ’70s Disco tracks are lame and cliche, so they’re out, and I don’t want to hear what I’m fairly certain came out of the automatic mode on a $50 synthesizer in the ’80s stuff, either. (Jesus, why do I even know this?)

So once again we have to recruit someone to pen us something that alternates from wild to wonderful to fit the varying cadences of carnal desire.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Les Claypool. Jam that bass for us, my brother.

There Is No Number Four

Crying music came to mind. You know, sad stuff.

Bah, I say. Leave that one for the chicks to figure out for themselves. They can recruit Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond and pass around the tissue boxes at their Pampered Chef parties. If you’re a dude and something’s about to get you crying, cue up your Fight Music and knock that wuss crap down deep.

Or at least use it to conceal the way you’re blubbering like a little girl because you just watched Tommy’s father die at the baseball game in last season’s finale of Rescue Me. (Yeah, that’s right, cried! Don’t make me cue up my Fight Music again!)

In Conclusion

I have more time on my hands than I thought.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.