Tag Archive for remixed classics

I'm Officially Trying Too Hard

Today J.F. Gonzalez pointed out the existence of this book:

Just... Just kill me. Please.

Just... Just kill me. Please.

When does this stop? A wiser man than I recently said:

“Talent sustains and bullshit fails to sell after a very short while.”

I hope so. Look, for all I know, this Porter Grand guy crafts better prose than any other writer on the planet. The part that bothers me is this remix stuff is just so easy. Apparently all I have to do now to land a Del Rey or other mass market contract is take an old book and throw in monsters.

The Bride of Frankenstein’s Scarlet Letter. BOOM! Where’s my check, bitches!?

Or better yet, maybe I’ll start a new trend: everything with ninjas. Uncle Tom’s Ninja, or maybe The Ninja and the Pauper. When that crapfest trend dies down, I’ll step it up with the pirates: The Picture of Dorian Blackbeard. I’ll make mad cash and retire to a Caribbean island.

This business never ceases to amaze me.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

The Right Way to Defile Classics

I had a new remixed trailer pointed out to me this week, Gone with the Wind with Vampires:

Clever and well done. Ask me, this is the way it should be done.

Yeah, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a funny concept, but it’s like a Saturday Night Live skit that just never ends. And to start a whole genre off a gimmick? Ugh.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.