Tag Archive for christmas

Survive Christmas

Be careful out there tonight, people. You don’t know what you’re dealing with.

While the Rugrats are snug in their beds, dreaming happy dreams of Nerf guns and Barbie dolls, the Wife and I will keep watch with the .45 and the sawed-off 12-gauge. The mint chocolate chip cookies and tall, cool glass of milk will be sitting near the hallway to create the widest kill zone possible for our lines of fire.

Bring it, fat man.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Photo Friday: Little Bird Christmas

Thought I would take a Christmas-themed shot for Photo Friday this week.

Little Bird Christmas

Keep flyin', Little Bird

When I looked at the tree, I saw this picture and frame Little Bird made in school, and the bird ornament the Wife or the kids hung near it, and felt that was the shot.

The kids love Christmas. I still have flashbacks to my days in retail. Maybe if I drink enough of the good egg nog I won’t have the nightmares.

The horror… the horror…

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Better Watch Out…

Santa Claus is coming to town.

Tonight I’m sleeping with my 9.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Happy Holidays, Hosers

I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday! The Wife and I were cheap-ass slackers this year and didn’t send out Christmas cards, but we hope you understand this doesn’t mean we’re not thinking of all of you this season. Best wishes in the coming New Year.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Look Mom! I Made a Comic!

Who needs to wait for artists when you have a camera?

Not long after I opened my MMA figures for Xmas, I looked over at Little Bird playing with her new little princess playset and got the idea for this shot. Tonight, having nothing better to do (like, I don’t know, writing?), I went ahead and slapped together the toys, imported it into Comic Life on the Mac, and voilá, instant pop culture stupidity.

If it’s any comfort to those who feel I’ve defiled my daughter’s toys, I’ll have you know she enjoys the MMA figures, too.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Thus Endeth the Holiday

It’s a UFC Christmas!
Originally uploaded by MikeOliveri.

The parents on both sides and my brother showed up today, and I’ve gotta say, we had a pretty good day. Ham and lasagna for lunch, a mix of snacks and brownies later in the day, and lots of opening presents, watching the kids play, lounging, and chatting.

Now we’re beat. Everyone’s on their way home, the kids are in bed, and the Wife and I probably won’t last much longer. We’re feeling good after a crummy start to the week, and it’s hard to ask for much more than that.

Made out pretty good, present-wise. My Complete Digital Photography book arrived yesterday, and I received Lightroom 2 last week. My folks and brother picked up Left 4 Dead for the 360 for me (which I’ll be putting through it’s paces tomorrow evening with John and Kraig), as well as The Orange Box (because I’ve been itching to try Portal).

The one I least expected was the full set of Series 1 of the Round 5 MMA UFC action figures, pictured above. I thought it would be cool to have these suckers for my office desk, but expected I’d be buying them myself. Instead the Wife spread the word and the in-laws snagged them. Nice!

Between these guys and the zombie horror slaughter-fest that is Left 4 Dead, I’ll be having a nice and violent post-Christmas. You won’t hear me complaining!

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

Deck the Halls with Streams of Vomit

Our house looks something like this today:

I don’t know what this bug is, but it’s taking us down one family member at a time. I thought I was going to dodge the bullet until 3:30am last night when I woke up and launched last night’s home-made sliders into the crapper at about 90 miles per hour.

From both ends.

I would have thought last night’s purges left me empty, but when I got out of bed my stomach managed to conjure up something out of somewhere and promptly got rid of it. I think it may have been my spleen. Ah well, at least I can live without it.

I’m not sure how much more this holiday can suck: more snow is following the Icy Doom and Great Arctic Death, the whole family is sick, and the dog died. All that’s left now is for Santa to show up, kick me square in the nuts, fuck my wife, and sic the Krampus on my kids.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spin up my favorite Christmas carol, Bad Religion’s “Fuck Christmas”.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.