Tag Archive for hallmark

Hallmark Can Bite It

The Wife and I braved the Valentine’s Day crowds this evening and hit a Mexican restaurant we hadn’t tried before. We had to wait for a seat, but the margaritas and the meal were well worth it. We had a pleasant conversation, a quiet night with the kids, and generally spent some quality time together.

All without buying cheesy cards, overpriced flowers, or any other ridiculous gimmick the greeting card and related industries insist we have to buy to prove our love.

Truth is, we wouldn’t have bothered at all if the Wife’s church didn’t have a free babysitting service set up this evening. See, we know it’s the the displays outside these holidays that really count. We arrange dates like this with babysitters or one of our parents from time to time, and then we have the bonus of not having to deal with the Valentine’s Day crowds.

I feel sorry for the guys out there who get guilt trips from their wives and girlfriends when they don’t come through on Valentine’s Day. Birthdays and anniversaries, fine, but Valentine’s Day? Ugh. (For the record, Sweetest Day is even worse.) While the Wife and I have celebrated Valentine’s Day in the past, neither of us gets too concerned when it doesn’t happen.

For the guys who have to deal with this monster on an annual basis, I have a suggestion: tell your girl about Steak & a BJ Day. If she’s going to insist you profess your love with some tchotchke, and then she’s going to throw a “you don’t love me!” tantrum when you don’t come through (or come through well enough), then you have every right to expect your steak and blow job on March 14th. Furthermore, you officially have every right to throw a similar tantrum if she refuses to deliver.

You’re welcome.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.