Tag Archive for nasal irrigation

My Brain, It Oozes

I sent the Wife to the pharmacy for a sinus rinse last week. They didn’t stock anything like a neti pot, so she came home with a squeeze bottle kit instead. I also got to thinking this guy has the right idea; I don’t have coffee, but there’s a bottle of Jack sitting in the kitchen.

The squeeze bottle says to squeeze gently. Unfortunately, “gently” is a relative term, especially when you’re a big, clumsy, ham-fisted oaf like me. Minutes after an accidental attempt to blow my brains straight out the back of my head, the Wife looked at my eye and asked if I was getting pinkeye again.

“Nope,” said I. “I just blew the snot out through my eyes.”

That went on for some time. There’s nothing like having to clean snot off your contacts before you put them away for the night. I’ve been squeezing more gently since.

* * *

Two days later, my head was still plugged up. The over-the-counter Claritin the doc told me to take wasn’t doing the job, and now I was blowing blood-laced snot all night. I showed the Wife what I feared were chunks of brain.

“Time to try a new sinus rinse,” I said. “Something along the line of 9mm.”

“Do you have a 9mm?” she asked.

“Yep. Sure do.” I told her which one.

“I thought that was bigger?”

“Nope. A .45 would be better, but 9mm will work in a pinch.”

“Oh. Have at it, then.”

Ah, spousal support.

* * *

I felt a bit better Friday and thought maybe I was through the worst of it. Unfortunately, that night I was right back to being sick again. Saturday morning I went to a quick care clinic (my own doc doesn’t have Saturday office hours) and they confirmed I had sinusitis, aka a sinus infection. The nurse handed me a sheet telling me all about the care and feeding of my brand new infection, and she circled one item in particular: rinse or irrigate your nasal passages frequently to clear the sinuses.

I laughed and asked her if 9mm would work.

“Don’t you think that might be a bit… permanent, Mr. Oliveri?”

At least this gunk would be out of my head.

* * *

I went to karate after the quick care visit. It’s review this week, and I want my next stripe, so I planned to at least sit and watch and let the Midget get on the mat for his review. I felt excited about being there, though, and my head had cleared some while driving, so I thought I’d make a go of it.

I put on my gi, and for a minute I felt like Superman putting on his cape. Tying on that belt after a full week of nothing but sick laziness felt like connecting to a live wire. I was so ready for this!

Then we did 20 slow push-ups (hold for a moment at the top and bottom) during warm-up. If the gi made me Superman, the mat became my kryptonite and it took all my strength to not just go flat and take a nap.

At least I remembered my kata and was able to review my self defenses. My nose didn’t run, but I sweated as if I’d just run a marathon.

I made it home before collapsing. I napped on and off, and episodes 5-7 of Deadwood made it all better.

* * *

Today I’m finally starting to feel better. I got a good night’s sleep last night, with no coughing fits or facefuls of snot to wake me up. The antibiotics appear to be doing their job, and I’ve got more of my energy back. There’s still some bloody goop in the snot, but the vice around my eyes is gone and it’s the first time in a week I woke up with a normal temperature.

It’s about freakin’ time, because I’ve got way too much to do.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.

The Pros and Cons of Illness

Between flu, pneumonia, and now some kind of killer, sinus-assaulting virus, this winter has just plain sucked for me. It all started with a fever on Saturday, progressed to sinus headaches, and now is a combination of both, complete with the occasional fat blob of ugly, brown-green snot streaked with red. This has given me plenty of time to weigh the pros and cons of being sick.

Pro: Another day off work.

Con: Too frickin’ worn out or lightheaded to get any work done at home, either.

Sadly, the latter includes writing. The fever just kills my concentration, so my planned three days of writing became three days of vegging out in front of the tube. Which brings us to the next set:

Pro: I’ve been able to eliminate a lot of old programs from the DVR

Con: Boredom.

Yes, I cried like a baby at the fade-out to the Rescue Me season finale, and I’m glad to have finally burned through the second half of Damages. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was better than I expected, and The Brothers Grimm was worse than I expected. There’s only so much TV I can watch in a stretch, though, and I far exceeded that limit and got bored. Boredom in creative types leads to:

Pro: Learning about things like nasal irrigation.

Con: Actually trying things like nasal irrigation.

Oh yes. I tried it. The Wife was thrilled to see me using her fine China creamer to do it, too. This created its own subset of pro and con, so I’ll indent them:

Pro: It actually works.

Con: Salt water across a nose you’ve rubbed raw over the weekend burns.

I’m thinking less salt next time. Or maybe something besides coarse kosher salt… But hey, it did work. Flushed loose all kinds of nasties. Gross.

Pro: Being home for the arrival of the iMac.

Con: Being too damn fuzz-brained to set it up.

Yeah, the iMac’s here. Big, sleek, white box. Unfortunately I never had the time to set up the office for it, and I’m still too worn out to do anything about it tonight. Heck, I can hardly stay focused on this simple blog post.

In the end, the cons have it.

I hate being sick.

My nose smells salty.

About Mike Oliveri

Mike Oliveri is a writer, martial artist, cigar aficionado, motorcyclist, and family man, but not necessarily in that order. He is currently hard at work on the werewolf noir series The Pack for Evileye Books.